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User blog:DiegoIdePersia/Scene 8
Arthur music clop clop ARTHUR: Halt! horn Hallo! pause Hallo! FRENCH GUARD: Allo! Who is eet? ARTHUR: It is King Arthur, and these are my Knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this? FRENCH GUARD: This is the castle of my master, Guy de Loimbard. ARTHUR: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail. FRENCH GUARD: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. Uh, he's already got one, you see. ARTHUR: What? GALAHAD: He says they've already got one! ARTHUR: Are you sure he's got one? FRENCH GUARD: Oh, yes. It's very nice-a. (I told him we already got one.) FRENCH GUARDS: chuckling ARTHUR: Well, u-- um, can we come up and have a look? FRENCH GUARD: Of course not! You are English types-a! ARTHUR: Well, what are you, then? FRENCH GUARD: I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king-a?! GALAHAD: What are you doing in England? FRENCH GUARD: Mind your own business! ARTHUR: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force! FRENCH GUARD: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt! GALAHAD: What a strange person. ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man-- FRENCH GUARD: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! GALAHAD: Is there someone else up there we could talk to? FRENCH GUARD: No. Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-a! sniff ARTHUR: Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable. FRENCH GUARD: (Fetchez la vache.) OTHER FRENCH GUARD: Quoi? FRENCH GUARD: (Fetchez la vache!) mooo ARTHUR: If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall-- twong mooooooo Jesus Christ! KNIGHTS: Christ! thud Ah! Ohh!... ARTHUR: Right! Charge! KNIGHTS: Charge! mayhem FRENCH GUARD: Hey, this one is for your mother! There you go. mayhem FRENCH GUARD: And this one's for your dad! ARTHUR: Run away! KNIGHTS: Run away! FRENCH GUARD: Thppppt! FRENCH GUARDS: taunting LANCELOT: Fiends! I'll tear them apart! ARTHUR: No, no. No, no. BEDEVERE: Sir! I have a plan, sir. Later... wind saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw clunk bang rewr! squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak rrrr rrrr drilllll sawwwww clunk crash clang squeak squeak squeak squeak... creak FRENCH GUARDS: whispering C'est un lapin, lapin de bois. Quoi? Un cadeau. What? A present. Oh, un cadeau. Oui, oui. Allons-y. What? Let's go. Oh. On y va. Bon magne. Over here... squeak squeak squeak squeak... clllank ARTHUR: What happens now? BEDEVERE: Well, now, uh, Lancelot, Galahad, and I, uh, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French, uh, by surprise. Not only by surprise, but totally unarmed! ARTHUR: Who leaps out? BEDEVERE: U-- u-- uh, Lancelot, Galahad, and I, uh, leap out of the rabbit, uh, and uh... ARTHUR: Ohh. BEDEVERE: Oh. Um, l-- look, i-- i-- if we built this large wooden badger-- clank twong ARTHUR: Run away! KNIGHTS: Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! CRASH FRENCH GUARDS: Oh, haw haw haw haw! Haw! Haw haw heh... Category:Blog posts